From the “something-for-everyone department” comes this—to assist those who are convinced that the stars are perpetually maligned. This timely piece can increase the capacity for despair in individuals . . .
- who have concluded that kids today are rude, self-centered and lazy,
- who insist that constructivist, student-centered pedagogy prevents them from teaching to the test,
- who are certain that new projects and deadlines are conspiracies to overwork them,
- who are plagued by the constant upheaval, turmoil, and uncertainty caused by personnel shifts,
- who know public schools are failing,
- who deem that appropriate funding of schools is a waste of taxpayer money,
- who view current geopolitics and climatological change as apocalyptic,
- who have video evidence that the latest loss of the U-12 Soccer Stars is the fault of the ref.
Yes, it is for these delightful people, who have the uncanny ability to suck the life right out of the room, that I offer the following seven rules to increase their ability to wallow in magnitudes of misery:
- Feel sorry for yourself. There is nothing more certain to make you feel sorry for yourself than the habit of self-pity. Magnify your problems and moan about them.
- Worry about things that might happen but probably won’t.
- Complain. Find fault with everybody and everything. (Many people develop this into an art form.)
- Insist on always having your way.
- Overreact. Make mountains out of molehills. Ridicule all who oppose you.
- Ignore the moral teaching of your religious traditions as well as the lessons of history. Disregard ethical principals. Who needs a higher power telling us what to do, anyway?
- This one sums up all the rest. Be self-centered. Focus on #1. Give little thought to others. Hoard all you can for yourself.
Practice three or four of these and you can make lots of other people miserable too!
(Borrowed from a homily given by Monsignor Francis Moeslein, pastor emeritus, St. Egbert’s Catholic Church . . . back in the day.)